Ask and you shall receive?

Someone will want to give me something today.

They almost always do because I play FarmVille, the hottest game on Facebook, where sending virtual gifts back and forth is a part of the game. I have more then 100 neighbors so the likelihood of something popping up in my mailbox/inbox is pretty good.

For me, FarmVille is good for two things: Thinking and change.

Game keeps asking, asking, asking

You get a lot of questions in FarmVille - What do you think will be in this? What will your neighbors think? Questions are posed when a farmer is about to share a bonus or news with others.

I use that open space for mini-blogging. It started as a way to make the posts interesting for those not into FarmVille,. That way even if you didn't want a golden egg you might be interested in seeing what thoughts the word gold or golden inspired. On Feb. 21, an egg inspired me to write about friendship in two posts:

• Make New Friends makes me sad today 
• Mixing it up: Gold + purple = friendship 

Imagine my surprise when one Facebook follower who is into FarmVille wrote she got so enthralled with what I wrote she forgot to click and get her bonus.

The instant responses and comments also are rewarding. It is encouraging that so many worry when I just share a bonus and leave off the thoughts. So FarmVille makes me think. The game stops me, delivers a prompt and I go with it.

Change is normal

FarmVille also is constant change: New gimmick, new gift, new way of socializing or just tweaks such as a new number of rewards attached to a bonus.The regularity of those changes - updates tend to come Tuesday and Thursday nights - keep the hard-core crew interested and has spawned blogs that actually are making money on the Internet.

Right now, the most competitive farmers are chasing after "spring eggs" to put in a basket and trade for prizes. (We, of course, can't call them Easter eggs because that would not be politically correct. I hate that. Really.)

You need to ask

One of the newer tools is the ability to put your wish out there - telling your neighbors what you want, what you need.

I find it harder to ask for things. In real life. In FarmVille. In life.

Ask for pay for your work? Ask for virtual building supplies for a farm? Ask for forgiveness for unkind words? Or, as you can do in Mafia Wars, ask for respect? (Yes, I finally gave in and played Mafia Wars so I could buy a bigger, better, badder tractor, harvester and feeder so I could do nine plots at once. Sad, I know.)

In real life, part of me that needs to know why you follow me but another part can't carry the burden of an answer yet. There's a part that screams to know more about your strategy and a part that won't put that much effort into any game. There's a part that wants to know what happened and a part that is OK with the comfort delivered by a nothingness.

Wish upon a star?

So we're back to thinking and FarmVille, inspired by a new wish list tool.

I know that little ditty you say when you see a falling star. I know there was a time when I made lists of things I wanted - a gift under the Christmas tree, red meat that wasn't hamburger, and clothes that came directly from the store.

Sometimes, I did lists as an adult, lists with far more expensive things. But I still feel awkward making lists.

This put yourself out there stuff? Lay bare your secret wishes? I find it hard to do at Amazon, in FarmVille, and a million other places. Count my mind as one of those places as the mushiness of dreams, hopes and ideals get crushed by insane questions, fuzzy loopholes and imagined obstacles.

I'll try

So on FarmVille, I suggest that even though there are a lot of things I'm wishing for right now I will settle for a gold bear to put in the pot at the end of my rainbow. Or an egg for the newly acquired spring basket.

In real life, I'm going to work on knowing what my wishes are and how to express them so I ask for what I want, need and deserve.

But, this idea of believing the good of the universe prevails in the long run. Well, that's asking a lot some days. Today is one of those days.

Read some more

Yes, I have shared some of the FarmVille-inspired blogging before and I will again. Remember reading posts by others how Twitter and FriendFeed was replacing their need for blogging? Well, sometimes playing FarmVille and sharing my thoughts and reactions there was my blogging. It took me a while to recognize that, to make sure the blogging made it into this grand central station.

• Bugged: Label of nice
• What I wish I could give: Change  Feb. 18, 2010
• Believe in the end Feb. 18, 2010
• Bugged by too much information Feb. 20, 2010
• Use today for thanks  Feb. 21, 2010 
• Yes, I play Farmville. Yes, I talk a lot. So what! Feb. 21, 2010 
• Reaching the top: Now what? March 3, 2010 
• Bugged: Lasso the bull March 3, 2010
• Spring =  opportunity March 15, 2010
• Being a butterfly: Flitting from project to project March 17, 2010

No time to blog? Presentation shows how to fit it in

Updated 3-26-10
Two browsers, a few minutes every hour, and multitasking are just three ideas you can glean from this Louis Gray presentation. But you'll find many more ideas no matter what subject you blog in.
Perhaps, the most important takeaway is the example Gray provides of sharing what he knows fairly, frequently and fast (He shared the presentation before presenting, allowing feedback in multiple streams. Oh yes, multiple streams is another tip.)

You Every blogger can glean enough from the presentation to make it worth your time. There are a few slides that make me wish I had been at the presentation (made to HP bloggers) so I'll send off my questions and share the replies.

(I added this after the initial posting)
Also, read the comments on Gray's post and you'll learn he considers conversation a key statistic indicating success.

Writing a Killer Blog (Without Killing Yourself)

View more presentations from Louis Gray.

Keeping track: FBML first, promoting camp, outdoors

Launched March 20 is GSSEM Camps The Facebook site is devoted to camps owned by Girl Scouts of Southeastern Michigan. Big plans under way but for now the focus is on filling 39 programs offered in June and July for girls 5 to 17 years old.

There's a text version of the programs under Summer Camp. Two photo galleries also feature the programs, with links to registration of the individual programs. Rounding out the content are interviews  with three camp staffers, the 4-1-1 on Camp and Paying for Camp. Two discussion boards are set up to discuss favorite camp experiences and tips for the first-time camper.

Most of the pages link back to the Girl Scout council's web site, which is designed to be its communication hub.

Goals

The big picture goal is to get more girls camping and enjoying the outdoors.

A more immediate goal is to fill every one of the 1,274 residential camping spots by May 1.

The strategy is make girls want to camp through the right programming and ensuring the girls and the decision makers know what is available.

Also playing into this is

• moving from an emphasis on camp as a place to camp as a program so that loyalty is to what is done as opposed to where.
• helping people to connect the Girl Scout leadership components with the outdoors, especially camping.

National problem

Girl Scouts across the nation are faced with too much camping space for the number of girls who camp. That is leading to the closing of camps, which upsets alumni with fond memories. When the camp properties are sold, the council also loses the opportunity to use the property differently in the future.

This Michigan council, formed in January 2009 from a nationally directed merger of  parts of five councils, also finds it spends 25 percent of its budget on 5 percent of the girls who do summer residential camp. However, commercial property, including camps, is not selling in Michigan, a state with high unemployment.

The challenge is getting more girls to camp. A long-range properties planning team of staff and volunteers spent eight months looking at the best use of all of the council's facilities, including camp. The Girl Scout community will hear those findings and the recommendation at town hall meetings that start March 29.

But staff and volunteers started taking some ideas from the group immediately. That has led to some new camp programs and services, such as a geocache searching trip, adding more times for troops to camp together, and the formation of an advocacy team.

Attract through comfort

One effort focuses on making the decision makers and the girls feel comfortable going to camp. That can be done by offering information, showcasing stories of people who camp, providing photos and schedules of typcal camp stays.

Looking at the demographics of Facebook explains why a Girl Scout council should consider a Facebook fan page for its camps and programs. Facebook is where the moms, and to some extent, the girls are.

Avoiding overload

GSSEM wanted its camps separate from its main Facebook site but wanted the camps launched from one Facebook site, the "mother ship." It took less then 24 hours to grab enough fans to get an easy to remember name (facebook.com/gssemcamps). It took three days to get to 95 fans.

A quick search uncovered at least 15 pages and groups set up for the current properties: The Timbers, Camp O'FairWinds, Hawthorn Hollow, Camp Innisfree, Playfair, and Camp Metamora. That search provides a good reason why the organization should have jumped in early. For instance, some of the sites were started by employees who have moved on and there's no way for the council to recover the access.

Using FBML

This is the first time I used Static FBML, the Facebook version of html. That led to uncovering some great resources and a reminder of how much  Jessie Stay of Stay N'ALive and SocialToo knows about Facebook and FBML. (He wrote FBML Essentials and I'm On Facebook, Now What?)

The first place to stop is the fan page for Static FBML, with a look at the discussions.

Then, I went to Stay's post: How to create the perfect fan page 

Also helpful:

• Hyperarts' category of posts on Static FBML
• Facebook Developers Wiki and a handy testing place.
•  8 essential applications for your brand's Facebook page
• How to build a Facebook Landing Page for Your Business   
• 30+ Apps for Doing Business on Facebook   
• 5 Elements of a Sucessful Fan Page
• Extending Static FBML tabs with multimedia content
• Customize your Facebook fan page and the 30 other posts on the subject
• A Travel Blog Guide to Creating Facebook Welcome Pages

Plus, I looked at a lot of fan pages to see what people responded too.

I'm pleased with the start of this Facebook effort. I'm hoping to add more interviews with staff and more details on the programs. I'd like videos of girls who are passionate about camp.

I think it would be fun to have photos posted during actual camp sessions.

Another idea would be to let a team of girls armed with Flips roam the camps and produce same day videos, much like the effort I helped with at the national Girl Scout convention in 2008.

I didn't find any other Girl Scout camp on Facebook.

NYT, others remember 'Collector of scoops'

`Nice headline - A" collector of scoops steps down -  on a New York Times article about Patrick McCarthy, who is leaving the Advance Publications umbrella.

McCarthy's leaving also prompted Aaron Gell to recall working for McCarthy on March 17. His  Snakes chase out St. Patrick (McCarthy) is worth your time. Says Gell:

"I spent four years as an editor at W, despite knowing next to nothing at all about fashion or society, and the biggest lesson I drew from working with Patrick—or tried to draw, anyway—was that great magazines exude swagger. They’re confident and sure-footed and they don’t look around for approval."

Gell recalls the one time that McCarthy prompted him to change plans for a magazine and reminds us of Charlie Rose quoting McCarthy as saying:

“The magazines have power, newspapers have power. It’s not individuals.”

People forget that when they get hung up on titles and positions. Or, let's be real, you don't even need the title or position. Many folks who once worked for news organizations find that people forget your name when the press boots you.

But back to the New York Times, where reporter Eric Wilson writes:

"As the editorial director of WWD, the (fashion) industry newspaper, and W, its glossy sister magazine for consumers, Mr. McCarthy always considered his publications to be the singular powerhouse for scoops, whether a designer was changing jobs or a retailer was headed for bankruptcy. In fact, his reign was so great that it was called “the McCarthy era” in a 1997 profile in New York magazine."

In 1997, he became chairman and editorial director of Fairchild Publications, now called the Fairchild Fashion Group and part of the Advance group. Last week, his departure was announced.

More from Wilson:

"Mr. McCarthy had risen through the ranks, from a reporter in the Washington bureau in the ’70s to London correspondent to Paris bureau chief to the helm of WWD in New York, where, in 1993 he remade W, which Mr. Fairchild had started as a society broadsheet in 1972, into the monthly glossy that it is today. (On Tuesday, Stefano Tonchi, the editor of T: The New York Times Style Magazine, was named the new editor of W, which will be split from Fairchild and folded into the glossy magazine portfolio of Condé Nast and Advance Publications, which acquired Fairchild in 1999.)"

 and there's this:

“It was all about the story,” Mr. McCarthy said on Wednesday. “Get the story. It doesn’t matter what it is: a fashion show, a party, a movie star or a celebrity. If you can get it first, it’s even better.”

McCarthy is staying until the end of the year, but doesn't say what's next.

Hire for skill or hire for passion?

A blog post, Product managers should know how to write code, got me thinking about non-profits and their employees. Is it enough to have the right skill set or does an employee need to believe deeply in the organization's mission to succeed? How much background is needed if you are part of a group that is charged with creating a new organization.

Jake Kuramoto, who blogs over on AppsLabs, says that product managers knowing code was one of the themes he discovered at SXSWi  (He describes the interactive part of the festival as including "very bright people in web design and development, emerging technologies, entrepreneurship, and game development and design.")

He explains why knowing code helps:

"The ability to understand what’s possible leads to better design, and this becomes much easier if you get dirty with the code, at least at the enough-to-be-dangerous level."

So, a PM must understand both the user and what s/he needs the product to do and what the product can actually do.

You have to be passionate, which leads to breaking, modifying, hacking and bending product to your will. You can’t do any of this without getting dirty with code."

 That's where I'm at with non-profits and employees. Is the skill set useful if there is a basic lack of respect for the organization? Can you promote an organization if you don't understand the principles behind the movement?

Can an employee adapt, quickly embedding the mission once hired? What does an organization need to provide to get an employee there?


As a lifetime Girl Scout, I am surprised (still) to discover people employed by Girl Scouts who don't know the basics. Since the organization requires its volunteers to go through an orientation, I expected that also was required of staff members. But as I work with different councils, I am discovering that most staff orientations don't include a grounding in Girl Scout basics.


Even more scary to me is when people who don't know the organization are involved with creating a new organization to better serve the community.

Without knowing that a Brownie is a Girl Scout or cookies sales are more then a fund-raiser, how can someone be "breaking, modifying, hacking and bending product" (in this case, organization) to create something better?

Huntsville Times getting new design director

Paul Wallen, who took a break from journalism to become a foster parent, will head up design efforts at The Huntsville Times, an Advance Publication in Alabama.

Charles Apple reminds us in a blog post, "Easily amused?" that Paul Wallen becomes design director at the Huntsville Times the week of March 29.

Apple, who often blogs about design journalists, played off one of Wallen's Tweets on house hunting, reminding us that he told us of the job switch earlier. Read that post from Apple for examples of Wallen's work.

(The tweet: "So excited about being the first state on all those Web pulldown menus!")

Wallen, who was laid off in March 2009 from the Florida Sun-Sentinel and just weeks later became  the assistant managing editor for design and sports at the Kerrville (Texas) Daily Times, turned to running a foster home in Texas.

He told Apple in October he and his wife were becoming "full time foster parents at Boysville, a non-profit program northeast of San Antonio that specializes in providing safe, family-like homes for children who can not live with their real families for various reasons (illness, poverty, abuse, neglect, etc.)"

The foster care gig was his first outside of journalism for 22 years, including 17 years in daily newspapers. Wallen wrote to Apple:

"That’s pretty much my entire adult life and it’s really all I’ve ever known. So to say that I’m nervous about trying something so different would be one heck of an understatement."

Wallen replaces Tim Ball, who left in October for the Washington Post.

 ----

I have written about The Huntsville Times before, including several posts about ex-publisher Howard Bronson, including his lawsuit, "retirement" and some speculation about his leaving.  

Don't forget Advance addiction fed by Alabama lawsuit.  (Sept. 21, 2009)

I also talk about The Huntsville Times in:

•  Buyout offers popping up at Newhouse newspapers in Alabama Dec. 16, 2009
• Pink Power: Black and white and pink all over in Alabama  Oct. 4, 2009
• Moving is today's theme at Advance Publications in Alabama Aug. 29, 2009
• Talking about Advance from Oregon to New Jersey: There's pain, envy, honors Aug. 6, 2009 
• Alabama paper makes it local, local, local May 21, 2009
• Advance execs share outlook on TV  April 8, 2009

A lesson learned at "South by" shared

Sad because you didn't make it to the interactive portion of SSWi? Lots of people are writing about their experienes, putting some weight behind the 140-character, live coverage Tweets.

I enjoyed reading Top Ten Lessons I Learned at South By Southwest from Escaping Mediocrity

Here's one lesson that goes beyond this meetup:

10. Sometimes when you meet the people you know online, they are way WAY better than you even imagined. And sometimes, they totally suck. I experienced both. It was a great reminder that people can put forth whatever personality they want to online. The only way to determine its truth is to meet them in real life.

Let me just add that when someone doesn't want to meet offline that might be a warning to lower the trust element or at least draw back on the personal information and insights you're sharing. See, I think that's just one of the ways you might discover the prince you're talking with might actually be a dog.

Being a butterfly: Flitting from project to project

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Or, if you prefer, Happy Day!

Today, I am a butterfly, flitting from project to project. Deadlines do that to me. Suddenly, I can find a zillion other things that need to be done while working on something facing a deadline. And, you know, those zillion things are important and need to be done. Just not right now.

(But then, FarmVille probably shouldn't be in a tab either. Shhh. Don't tell anyone I slipped into break mode.)

Google everywhere: Erases that bad thought

Boy, Google is getting darn right personal.

First, I noticed that my Google search results now come up with suggestions from my friends. That nice Google tool even tells me how I know that person - through Twitter, through that network or this.

I can't seem to shut Google Play off in my Reader, so I'm getting more suggestions of what to read there. (Hello, Play and Google do you see how many feeds are unread?!? If you really want to help, tell me which ones are echo chambers and where to cut. I'm an information hoarder and I need help!)

I also thought it was Google that was been getting more pushy on my browser with its suggestions of where I go next while I was surfing, but that turned out to be Feedly.

Still, I just logged into Gmail for a pre-dinner check while mulling over exactly what is it that bothers me about this latest request to "teach me everything you know. I have an hour" request.

That led me to think about how various people approached sharing what they found at SXSW, the music/film/geek/oh-my-God-how-come-I-missed-it-again event. For just a moment, I wondered what it would be like to be XXX (name doesn't really matter, now does it) when up popped this quote on my Gmail:

Kurt Cobain - "Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are."

So, OK, I get that and will stop lusting for their lives. A part of me knows no one lives perfection 24/7 despite the perfect picture they present to the world. Besides, life's challenges prevent boredum.

Still I wish I knew the right answer for people who want a brain dump of years squashed into minutes.

Spring = opportunity

One of the highlights of spring is all the birthing that goes on. It's a reminder of cycles and a reminder that we, too, can be reborn.

Spring is newness. Spring is young. Spring is opportunity.

Just as the shoots of new plants push through once frozen ground, we can push through the barriers that keep us separated from our goals, our opportunities, our best.

iPhone, FriendFeed discover my security leaks

Just when I think I've plugged all the security leaks and repaired all the walls, a simple maneuver reveals just how much I don't know about the computer or Internet.

I need my own IT department. Really.

I'm just a week into the month-old Google Buzz. I thought I'd set things up so limited information about me was available until I completely recover from a hack and stolen, or perhaps I should say borrowed, accounts.

My profile, including contact information, looked great (limited) on the laptop's FireFox, Safari and Internet Explorer. What a surprise when I unexpectedly look at my profile through the iPhone Google application. There, for the whole world to see, was my home address, multiple email addresses, and some notes foolishly stored in a Gmail Contacts form.

I shouldn't be surprised - my iPhone/Facebook application continues to let me do things I can't on the web interface. Sometimes, that's a good thing.

Facebook privacy control an inside job

Not quite as disturbing, but interesting, was learning that choosing the audience for an item on Facebook only works on Facebook. That means items that I customized on Facebook for family-only or for game-players only are making their way to my FriendFeed account. I don't think I broke the rule of say only what you're willing to see on the front page of a newspaper. But I'm sure a few folks were surprised by what thye read on FriendFeed where I tend to stick to technology, journalism, health care and not family, farming or Facebook tricks.

Google Play easy to dismiss

Two quick reasons why I expect to keep resisting Play, a new tool form Google:

• Information overload.
• I'm a word guy person.

Play, just introduced on the Official Google Reader Blog,  and popping up when you log into Reader, is a graphic representation - think slide show - of the blogs and pages you subscribe too. Plus, if you signal you like a post, Play will come up with suggestions for you. Here's what the company said:

"It's designed to be a fun and easy way to browse interesting items, while Reader is a highly customizable way to organize your feeds, keep track of what you've read, and much more."

Information scarcity - Not!

I find it ironic that this suggestion capability, which Reader already did on a smaller scale, comes into play when I'm actively reducing the number of subscriptions. I don't seem to have a problem with finding things to add even though I rarely even check over on Toluu to see what feeds those I respect have added.

I especially don't need Play suggesting that I add feeds I've dropped.

Google Reader kept suggesting over and over (way too many times) that I try Play so I did. Perhaps it is my word orientation, but the slideshow presentation took too long.

I'm a skimmer and want the headlines, not pretty pictures. The picture view wasn't even compelling enough for the crafts, quilts or bead categories. 

And I don't want to have to figure out what the pretty little icons mean. I get the star, might get the square smiley face for like, but not the share one or the first four. (Seriously, a TV  means start the slide show? That's not where I watch slide shows.)

And the menu presented? Where did that come from? What's wrong with my categories - web, crafts, journalism, news, non-profits and the 'net, etc.?

I just want to cruise through my feeds. I want to comment easily when I share. 

Need to improve

Google Reader could give me three things:

• Once is enough, with comments please
• Easy way to see comments, likes on what I share
• Ability to choose how long to keep by feed or category

Google could improve my Reader experience by knowing reading a post once is enough. I'd love it if once I read a post I didn't see it again even if all of the folks I'm following like the post enough to click on the share button.

That one time experience would be richer if the comments collected on other shares would bound together with the post. Probably a nice thing for the post author too.

I want to know

Sometimes, I do feel like I'm in a rowboat on the ocean. Even though I keep seeing the number of people subscribing to my shares going up, I wonder if anyone likes my shares, my thoughts, my likes?

I'd love to see what happens after I'm done sharing. (It'd be nice to know too if someone comments on what I write in this blog.)

I want control

Last, but not least, other priorities get in the way of reading my feeds. Take yesterday when the new refrigerator was to be delivered. Twice, I emptied the old one in anticipation of delivery any moment. Twice, a phone call canceled  the delivery, which means it all went back in.

I wish I could tell Google Reader to never, ever, let feeds from some people pass through unread, some can disappear after 24 hours and the rest, well, let me decide.

And speaking of control, please, could I stop seeing the plea to play already. :)

Pinches, pants trick help separate dreams from reality

Sometimes, I pinch myself to make sure I'm awake and not dreaming. Or I walk to a mirror to make sure it's me staring back. Or I check carefully to make sure I'm in my web accounts.

It's not a new sensation. I mean really how many people get to be in Willie Nelson's house, or get to tell  William Holden why a scene in Network movie is unbelievable or share a cup of coffee with Garrison Keillor?

I get that not everyone talks regularly with authors or finds their suggestions/thoughts and names in books. I understand that not all get joy from standing on a stage before thousands or arranging the event that brought people together. I know some find no thrill in watching the plants that grow from an idea seed carefully planted, pruned and watered.

Recognize validation

I savor successes. It validates my ideas when I learn that someone I respect has chosen to subscribe to my blog, Google Buzz or FriendFeed. I can't help but smile when someone tells me I'm like sunshine even after I've missed a deadline. Or picks out a piece of my writing to launch their own thinking.

I seek signs that will lead to more success. Sometimes, the perfect message pops into your inbox. Today, it was Chris Brogan's newsletter that was titled "I Don't Fit In - Do You?" He not only perfectly describes how I feel, he shares what he did/does with that concept to make a life script that works for him. The timing of the message is unbelievable perfect.

Recognize signs

Brogan answers my thank you (a bonus) and when I go look for the web address so you can sign up for his newsletter I stumble across "My Love for Blogging." That's the post I needed today as I work my way through some changes.

Just yesterday at a lunch with some former co-workers, I realized what I don't want to blog about anymore - Advance Publications. That's sad because it is something I know. That's sad because I think I'm the only one that was watching all of them and that's how I discovered the trends. That's sad because that's the only reason some of you come here.

Don't be sad

In fact, sadness is the very reason I don't want to blog about it anymore. Despite the optimism of the three Michigan newspapers adding a Tuesday newsstand-only edition to its three-day lineup, the long-term outlook is horrible. I find it hard to go to funerals and I don't want to cover any more either.

Yes, I hope that somehow Advance will find a vision that works and that it can execute - I'd like to keep getting that pension I earned with way too many 60 hour work weeks. Yes, I'm thrilled everytime I see an idea recycled and improved. Yes, I think the news business is vital to communities.

Recognize limits

But, like you, I only get 24 hours a day.

Whether I'm overflowing with self-confidence or drowning in pity, I know my Advance days are behind me. My eyes sparkle when I'm exploring other subjects. So, I'm moving on.

The best part? I'm moving on because I carry within me lines from my grandfather who wanted me to succeed even when others did not. The same man who coached me to believe "trust  no one, not even your own mother" also tattooed into my brain that every person puts their pants on one leg at a time, making them no better or worse then you and always making them approachable.

Still, sometimes I pinch myself to make sure I'm not imagining the conversations and encouragement. Sometimes, I visualize that person putting their pants on. Sometimes, I just say thanks.

Rudeness, 'too good for me' don't belong on Internet

My latest trip to the rant box began with a post I mostly agree with -  For Many Families, Facebook is the Real World Web.

Indeed, if I had to limit myself today to just one Internet tool/service Facebook would be my choice.

Fortunately, I don't have to choose just one service because I make time to try other services and tools. I like testing the new products, talking about the new ideas, and figuring out how to use it to do the most good. I'm an information junkie, an early adopter, and, in the eyes of some, a techie or geek of long standing.

That eagerness makes me different from the majority. And, like in the physical world, I feel a need to respect differences and not make everyone be me.

Feeling left out

If most of the family are meat-eaters, how polite is it to force every gathering to be held at the best vegetarian places? And, if I give in and go to their restaurant of choice is it OK for me to roll my eyes and tsk, tsk when they order the 16 ounces of red meat?

When I read Louis Gray's post on families on Facebook, I felt like a meat eater at the world's best vegetarian restaurant. I needed to stop using Facebook, the utility service with lots of good but no best tools, and start using the superior tools like FriendFeed, Twitter, SmugMug, etc. In other words, force feed me the tofu.

"I may prefer Google Buzz and FriendFeed and Twitter and SmugMug and all these other best-of-breed sites for their specific use cases, but thus far, I haven't been able to convert the family to converge with me there."

I don't get that urge to move folks who are comfortable with an all-you-can-eat place over to the sushi bar. That means I don't get why he or anyone else would want to move a family who is using one tool to do more communicating then ever before to a suite of tools.  I think it's rude to want family to give up what they like for something shinier.

But there's a clue in this piece of his post:

"But even more than the raw numbers, the impact Facebook has, from sharing, to members' gestures, to the act of friending and unfriending, cannot be overstated. For while many of us digerati get all atwitter about newer, shinier objects, the mainstream Web has made Facebook their central gathering place to talk with casual friends, family members, and even talk business. Now, activities online affect those offline, and offline events directly impact a response on Facebook."

(Check his post out for some good examples of how his family uses Facebook.)

The new divide

Like I said, I agree with most of what he wrote so I posted at the blog site:

"You've captured the new divide so well. Early adopters, techie people may prefer the new shiny stuff. They may like specific tools for specific tasks. But most people want one-size, one tool for all. They feel safe on Facebook and they can ramp up fast.

Just tonight I watched how fast a series of "Notes" spread. They started as blog posts, but I learned how many people were more comfortable with Notes then with blogs. They also liked the ease of sharing with their own unique audiences. Trust me - more people read the notes I shared then I'll get through Google Reader.

I find that organizations and businesses also are finding it easier, quicker, better to be on Facebook then on the web or out Twittering or even Yahooing. The statistics and feedback are easy to understand and quick to get. The pages remind me of the days of GeoCities and other templated sites. Fill in the blanks and go.

Heck, I even have a new appreciation for the community that can grow around the social media games and applications. I started playing and using them so I could write about them.

But the community aspect is powerful. When I was silenced for a few days on Facebook, I was surprised at how many people missed my comments, statuses and even my FarmVille updates (Hey, they give you a category and box to write in.).

There are some amazing things happening in the Facebook ghetto - or is it the non-Facebook interfaces that are the ghettos and silos?"

 

Silence surprises

Later, I was surprised again. Despite comments being posted, there was no sign that the blog author was reading them. But if you allow comments at your blog, do you have an obligation to acknowledge them? How quickly?

I'm still uncomfortable with what I did, but I started replying to the comments because I believe if you know something you should share it. And I don't see Facebook as evil (challenging, yes.)

Yak, yak, yak

I also jumped into the conversation on Google Buzz, where again the attitude of superiority because of skills comes through over and over. My blood pressure went up when Gray replied almost instantly to a commenter:

Tyler Romeo - When I read this post, I came to a sort of depressing reality. I agree that Facebook is essentially taking over the world, even when there are better services for the specific features it offers... "

And the reply from Louis Gray - Yup. It is depressing, isn't it! :(.

Excuse me, but for all its faults, Facebook has a lot of pluses. And it is simple and sometimes simple is good. Plus, here's what got me to take a closer look at Facebook and start offering intro classes - people are using Facebook instead of email, voice mail and old-fashioned post office mail.

(By the way, I'm glad I stuck with the Buzz conversation because I think it expanded what needed to be said.)

I was rude 

 

Meanwhile, a post I started on the topic was prematurely published and I sent an apology to Gray for the crude attack (hey, it is hard for me to criticize in public. When I do, I like to make sure it is a fair piece.)

But before the email exchanged ended, I told him I thought he was being a snob and wondered about his family's reaction. It sounds like his family isn't annoyed by his stance that superior services are available. But as he admits, most of his family probably hasn't read the post. (I'll argue that most of his family finds his Facebook stream overwhelming and skip most of it. Maybe I'll use that idea for another post someday).

Consider audience

That statement was a stark reminder to remember his audience - early adapters or people keenly interested in technology. For them, the blog post is right on, another opportunity to wish more would see the errors of their ways and jump on the next shiny thing.

And that led to more questions for me and why so many posts remain scattered across the Internet or unpublished in this blo:

• Who am I to tell someone how to use the Internet or any of its tools?
• Do I know the whole story?

Perhaps Gray is acknowledging the comments off site or in another way? Maybe he is time-starved with other obligations (Indeed, I sat on this post long enough that he is talking over on the blog now.)

• Who told me that my way - educating and helping people to use the tool of choice, in this case, Facebook, more efficiently and security - is right?

     Perhaps it is better to have people seeking the next best thing, something stronger and more secure then Facebook.

• Why do I think those with knowledge are obligated to use that to improve what they can?

       See that last perhaps. Besides, Facebook is too old for those with influence to pressure the company into creating a better product.

     And, if I publish this post, have I now taken on the mantle of rudeness and superiority?

Sometimes, we cannot even choose our friends

Some people are sunshine just by showing up. Some create warmth by leaving.

Everyone who stops on your path contributes to the person called you. But you get to decide how to use the gifts.

That thought was inspired by a field of sunflowers that popped up in FarmVille and the struggles of friendship, especially online friends.

Online friends are great, but sometimes they lose out. Those online friends know only what we put out there. They miss the grimaces of pain that might cloud our judgment. They get only the starkness of words. They see just a glimpse of me.

There is no casual bumping into each other. There is no way for intervention by caring friends. There are no shared events, no run-in-to reach-other at the grocery store or a neighborhood event.

A block is better then the personal protection order at maintaining separation.

You are left with arranging the flowers, the gifts, left behind.

Celebrate: Daughter is cancer free

It took 14 months, but finally enough hair to style.

The odometer on my car gives a clue to the pace of the past five days - 935 more miles were added picking her up at the airport, escorting (sort of) her to the medical appointments and dropping her back off at the airport.

The good news is there is no sign that that cancer has returned and the just-turned 26-year-old needs no more chemo. She was even able to get the port out.

There's Tamoxifen and checkups every three months, but mostly this battle against breast cancer is over. Fighters do survive Stage IV, stupid doctors and the odds. (Need background? Check these links.)

Chasing away debt

We've also finished paying off two of the three big debts incurred while she was on her employer's insurance. (She'd been better off without any as then the government, or a charity, even some of the doctors and hospitals would have helped). We hold our breath that those who forgave debts continue to do so and we can continue to pay toward the debt that is bigger then what many make in a year.

Still, it is disheartening to learn that the thousands of miles driven in 2009 and the medical bills do not lead to any tax breaks for her or us. Equally daunting is the new costs of insurance, new medications and new treatments such as physical therapy and counseling. Do not get me started on the Obama health plan.

I remain grateful for second chances, happy that a buyout that ended my career gave me a second chance at attempting to be a good mother and provided a cash cushion. That the cash lasted just long enough helps me believe that God does provide what we need just in time.

Replacing cancer

She's doing better with the end then me, seeing the incompatibility of a lifetime of joy with her companion of the past eight years and learning to separate. She's found classes to take, new people to hang with and is exploring her newly adopted community. She is moving onto new ventures, including a ride-along at the Bristol Speedway, whitewater rafting and skydiving.

Those ventures remind me of how things like hot-air ballooning, road trips and festival-hopping were the norm for me, pre-kid days, pre-multiple sclerosis days and pre-buyout days. But that's another post(s) as I try to figure out just what it is that a people-pleaser with a mishmash of skills is supposed to do next.

Deja vu, all over again

On a more personal level, she's been re-establishing her independence. Even though the books and counselor told me that it would happen, even knowing it in my mind, does not make it easier.

I want to barge into the offices where doctors deliver their statements. I want to be asked what would I do when her work calls once more time. I want her to eat, even like, the meals I fix, praise the redecorated room and rejoice that I've made new friends.

It cuts to the bone when she critiques my driving, saying what a waste it would be to die in a car crash after surviving cancer. And, oh my goodness, she has learned way too well how to send my "angry" face, my "are you kidding" face and others to me.

A planned celebration of a salon visit goes badly when I'm banished to the waiting room and later told to shut up when I make a suggestion.  Of course, later I'm told I heard that wrong and I'm too sensitive.

Keep eye on end

For 10 months, we were together constantly with me living with her or her moving in with my husband and I. For the next five months, we were in contact multiple times each day. But that contact has slowed and this last visit home was hard.

I have become the stupid mother of a teenager once again. I remind myself that this stretch for independence is good. That this, too, shall pass.

But mostly, I remind myself that this kid I wasn't supposed to have, that this woman who fought the battle of a lifetime and won, that this amazing person with a quirky sense of humor and a big heart, loves me.

I've written about my daughter's battle with cancer before - hey, it helped keep me sane. Check out the background and list. Or try these:

• A hairy day is a fine one for hats
• Big blow: Daughter has cancer 
• Jay Leno to the rescue

Reaching the top: Now what?

Getting to the top is always a thrill. But then come the questions. What's next?

I made it to the top level of FarmVille, seven months after I started playing so that my daughter could get enough neighbors to get a larger farm. Since then, playing has become addicting and fascinating. Addicting because there are so many changes. Fascinating because, well, the changes but also why and how people play.

Here's what I wrote on FarmVille when I finally had enough points to become "World Fair Champ."
 

Made it! Level 70!

A hat tip to the mentors - Hussein, Sunil, Stephen and more; A thank you to all who helped with the fertilizing, the gifting, and creativity; A hug to all who encouraged me; A salute to all of you whose positive reactions encouraged me to keep on writing and sharing my thoughts.

This lark of a game reminded me how important new and old friends are, how important connections are, and why I've always loved the magic you can create online and off. Thank you for being my village, my community, my family.

  That's probably enough for now. I started with a bad attitude about this social media game. I ended up learning more than expected. I want to create the next one for Girl Scouts.

This blog post started on FarmVille
 

Bugged: Lasso the bull

Bugged? Of course. But I've driven too many miles this week and walked far too much. (Is it good news or bad news that the soft cast fits again?) to be able to make sense.

There are many more miles to drive and walk yet this week.

Still, I'm not sure how much longer I can toe the line, any line, before I say enough is... enough and take matters into my own hands. The Internet may be a wild place, but I'm ready to lasso the bulls.

This post was started on FarmVille, prompted by completing a bug collection. That completion lets me brag to my friends and give them a chance to get a bug for their collections. Completed collections mean FarmVille coins, points and a reward of fuel. Fuel lets you plant, harvest and plow faster.

If I disappear .....

Someone is reporting I'm abusive on most of my online services, so if this blog may go again too

.... If it's you reporting, please why do you think so?

Update: I'm back and so is this blog though it will be moving shortly. I also hope to post soon about what happened and why.
3/7/10

Yes, I play FarmVille. Yes, I talk a lot. So what

I'm asking for help with this barn and with more.

If you don't like that I'm sharing thoughts here, or in my blog, realize you have the power. Tell me and I can take you off the farm list and you'll get no more notices via FarmVille.

Or go ahead, defriend me on Facebook. I hope you'll say good bye first. Your choice.

But here's the deal: I can stop. No, I won't stop.

Sharing, talking/chatting with you is what makes Facebook, FarmVille interesting to me. (oh, don't forget to click to help expand my barn.)

This post originated in FarmVille, a social media game that encourages blogging by providing prompts with each bonus, announcement and triump you are invited to share with your Facebook friends. This time I needed 10 people to click and help me increase the size of my barn so I could store more virtual items.