August 25, 2009

We're battling cancer - and each other

We are close to marking another milestone in my 25-year-old's race against breast cancer - the last of 30 radiation treatments.

Each milestone brings its own set of challenges and this one means a move, back to work and new doctors for her.

That means we are separating our household goods, pulling together never unpacked boxes, and planning how to get from here to there all the boxes, vehicles, and dogs.

We are separating lives, one fight at a time. Even warned that these fights were coming, they hurt.

There is where a job waits, a mere 575 miles from this base of family and friends. She's grateful to be able to walk back to the same job at the same store because of the right circumstances. She's hopeful her boyfriend will find something as his ex-employer seems unable to find room for him. They have found a place to live, one that will allow their two dogs.

She has found a Tennessee doctor who will oversee the chemo treatments needed through February and coordinate care with her Michigan cancer team. That means fewer trips back here.

Today also is another chemo treatment and a visit with the oncologist, perhaps some more work coordinating care with new doctors in Tennessee. That means it is another long day in Ann Arbor - blood work, oncologist, two hours of chemo, a break, and then radiation.

At 5 a.m., I learn my role will be chauffeur only and opt to stay home. She is surprised, baffled that I would want to meet with the oncologists, the support team this one last time. There would have been some closure, some celebration of the milestone.

Plus, there would be another recording the medical team's recommendations. In the past, my notes revealed we heard different thoughts from the same set of words.

All of us are tired, even the household. A broken washing machine turned out to be a blessing as it means my husband is home when my daughter reveals her new independence. He delivers hugs, saving me from more eggs in the shower.

Wednesday, another doctor will decide if the last four radiation treatments can take place as scheduled or if the blistering is bad enough to demand a break.

I think a break would break my daughter who is tired of crafting purses, painting wood items, crocheting washcloths and bags and disappointed nothing sold as well as she hoped. She is tired of reading, of sleeping, of living off her parents and with her parents.

There is more. I chuckle because I wondered why my daughter hasn't updated her blog since mid July. Then an early morning check shows I haven't written about her cancer since then either. Perhaps we are all tired of cancer and assume you are too.

Herrad's recent comment reminded me how little I've said about me. I can't even remember the last comment I left elsewhere. Soon, there will be time, right?

Some recent statuses from daughter:
didn't win bingo- but winning w only 5 more treatments left! Monday ngiht

6 more treatments! the end is near whoo-hoo Monday morning

7 more treatments!! just 11:52 AM Aug 22

7 more treatments!! Excited to move back to 5:33 AM Aug 21

8 more- Whoo-Hoo!!!at 8:13 AM Aug 20

9 more-- finally single digits!!at 9:07 AM Aug 19

10 more-- figuring out paint colors and moving vans! at 3:33 PM Aug 18

11 more gonna get the eyes checked too--been 3 years! at 10:20 AM Aug 18

12 more... ...
at 5:19 PM Aug 17

13 more treatments-- wonderin can cause too many 3:43 PM Aug 15

13 more treatments-- 10:43 PM Aug 14 f

13 more treatments-- on the road! <3>at 6:27 AM Aug 14

13 more treatments--1 day till trip! so exciting!at 9:01 AM Aug 13

14 more-- 2 days till trip!! today is already better than yesterdayat 8:15 AM Aug 12

15 more-- 3 days till trip!! & today is angery day- y peeps gotta make me mad?at 5:48 PM Aug 11
Mood:pissed (She ripped her second - and last - pair of pants on the radiation table; cut her leg too.)

15 more-- 3 days till trip!! at 8:27 AM Aug 11

16 more-- 4 days till trip!!at 9:04 AM Aug 10

17 more at 10:12 AM Aug 9

20 more.. i HATE those moments were u know you've already lived this but havent...
at 6:48 AM Aug 4

22 more! sad it was the last buick 7:55 PM Aug 2

23 more! excited for the 12:52 PM Jul 30

24 more... & planning a trip-- super excited!at 7:53 PM Jul 29

26 to go... excited 2 b looking for apartments!! at 1:06 PM Jul 27

6 to go... I like seeing the number go 9:23 PM Jul 26

i wanna get back in the game... but i still have 26 more treatments!at 8:00 PM Jul 25

3 down 27 to go at 8:19 AM Jul 24

2 down 28 to goat 10:24 AM Jul 23

1 down 29 to goat 10:09 AM Jul 23

Back from AnnArbor-- started my 6 weeks today of radiation beams whoo-hoo!at 5:25 PM Jul 22

off to Ann Arbor to hopefully start Radiation!at 8:27 AM Jul 22

ahhh.. got it settled hopefully. I'll find out monday if i get to fight again :O)at 3:17 PM Jul 21

when are people gonna learn?? I was trained by the best and you don't wanna mess with the 12:08 PM Jul 21 (she's fighting with a car insurance company)

sad they had to put off my radiation one more weekat 8:45 PM Jul 15

the ironic thing of the day I'm allowed to drink but a report came out linking drinking and cancer in women--- damn ironic!at 6:50 PM Jul 14

You'all feel better now?


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