Jealousy over blog post leads to reflection

I don't know. Except that I do know Louis Gray inspired guilty feelings with his latest explanation of what he does when he does what he does. See, my question is how does he know that. No, that's wrong. My question is more personal: Why don't I know that?

Gray takes a global approach to what he shares online, mindful of his audience, careful to not overload with too much or to stray from a particular path whether he is blogging or pointing to other posts via Google Reader.

"Every time I hit a "share" button, or I hit "post", it is calculated."

I think I'm jealous that he knows his audience, while I'm still searching for what it is that I have to say that someone will want to hear. What is it that I can talk about that anyone wants to listen to? Or what is it that I want to talk about day after day after day?

Meanwhile, I pull together posts I might want to look at later,posts that collect more about the why and the how in an attempt to understand this or that, or grab onto the success of others who left the newsroom and survive, or better yet, thrive.
 
I forget sometimes that humans are reading this, much in the same way that the people who pulled the "best" pages for the State News 100 years  book featured the page highlighting a staff walkout as the one for my year as editor. That, of course, ignores events like the time Ohio State University football coach Woody Hayes grabbed a State News reporter's neck, upset over the printed allegations that Ohio State University alumni were illegally funding his recruitment efforts. Now, that story made it into Sports Illustrated. and papers like the Milwaukee Journal. Or an investigation that led to the true story about a shooting by police, or ... so many highlights that could have been chosen. Oh well, I enjoyed the 263 other pages.

The walkout, by the way, came because the board of directors chose me to be editor while the editorial staff's recommendation was for another candidate. It was not the first time or the last time the board and staff disagreed. It was not the first walkout.

But the walkout that followed my selection also came while I was in Florida, vacationing with my former husband and in-laws for the first time. I had delayed the start of the vacation so I could face the board for a grueling interview. I ended the vacation days early, listening to those who said a return was necessary for the success of the newspaper as the current editor decided enough was enough and wanted out early.

Ah, how early I began putting work before family. That thought hits me hard, illustrating why I write still. It's a path to understanding because sometimes I sweep through things and forget to reflect.

So back to this online personality thing, this what do I blog about, or what do I share, or why, or ....  Also, back to remembering those in college are there to learn and that learning does not need to happen at their expense. Besides, have you ever seen an Advance Internet site that is easy to navigate?