Buck up, be a man, Billy

So who apologizes first?

I suppose it will have to be the one whose hitting the stone wall over and over.

Surely this wasn't the plan - let one bad decision spill out this far?

Still, it is the breaking of the pledge to be direct that stops me, unsure how many would see the attempt to reconnect. Or perhaps the fear of your silence.

This is not the first time you dropping me on a Facebook has come up in a interview for a project. Still it stuns and makes me wonder why that detail is mentioned.

Blame drugs. Blame need. Blame me.

I said the wrong thing in an attempt to be funny, to lighten the mood.

I miss sparring with you. I miss your insights. I miss your promise that Facebook was fun, not a part of our professional relationship.

I hear my grandfather suggesting that I buck up and face the consequences of a smart mouth. I hear Michael reminding me that a life of "no regrets" is impossible.

And I resist the temptation to click on your face when it comes up in the "People You Might Know" on my front page.